Home Sweet Home
It's been once more nearly a year since I last went "home", i.e. the place where my progenitors reside (or, more precisely, those of my progenitors who haven't broken with me), and more than 1.5 years before that last visit. Yet some things don't seem to be willing to wear off (and if only I knew what exactly these things were about); after having spent the first night there I wished I had never decided to go back there in the first place. It's nobody's fault, it's just the way it is, but it strikes me over and over again. With three people living there, you might think that some sort of sociability and commotion should be going on, but the place is just (both) empty and cluttered, from the inside and the outside.
And all the laudable plans I had of spending 'quality time' with my relations faltered just as quickly as I can neither enforce sociability upon them nor upon myself as I seem to turn to stone myself when I get there - I basically want to sleep fast until I am able to get out of there again (but you can either book the cheap train ticket or have the flexibility to leave when you feel like it). But I will leave one day earlier now anyway, as the prospect of staying here until Monday seems suffocating. Of course this cannot be the road to reconciliation either, but I am afraid I cannot help it. Yet. Maybe one day I will.
posted by Jana @ 1:45 PM
<< Home